before the construction group came, i already felt quite exhausted.  even though i had some time to rest and recuperate, i feel like being in this city for too long drains so much out of me.  so i worried if i would have the capacity to handle this team…especially since i would be on my own this time.

the construction project didn’t come through until early last week so i worried things would change last minute and there would be no project.  logistical things like transporting the team, buying supplies, meals, etc etc i wasn’t sure about because i didn’t know the area very well.  and it was hard being the only person who can speak chinese.  luckily the ngo we were working with sent two of their staff members to help out…one could speak english and the other couldn’t.  and i got along really well with the staff person who couldn’t speak english.  she was a huge, huge help in bargaining for supplies.  the people here speak a local dialect that i don’t understand and when we were out buying supplies, many of them only spoke that dialect.  i was really really glad she was there to help.  she helped translate from the local dialect into mandarin, then i translated from mandarin to english to the group leader, etc etc.  so you can imagine how long supply purchasing took.  but towards the end of our time, she was able to finish my sentences.  =)

i can handle doing a little bit of translating but when it comes to vocab words like emulsion paint, oil-based paint, scrapers, adding a guardrail, a pressure washer etc etc…i really have no idea.  the hardest part in translating is being the middle person.  i wasn’t sure if i was conveying everything correctly, sometimes i was placed in an uncomfortable position but i had no choice but to go ahead and translate, and sometimes i didn’t know how to translate what was said so i just left things out.  =)

anyhow, all this to say…He really gives me the capacity to do all these things.  i don’t think i would have the energy and knowledge to do all that was done.  i don’t think i’ve ever been so exhausted but the positive things that came out of this experience far outweigh the hard things.  when we saw the school transformed, we forgot about all the frustrations, etc etc that came about.  imagining the children sitting in a classroom with windows and newly painted walls made everything worth it.

the construction group left bright and early this morning.

this experience has left a lasting impression on me. i keep thinking about the school, the principal and how hard everybody worked to make this happen. we saw an entire school transformed in the 3.5 days they were here. we worked 12 hour days because we wanted so badly to see the school become a brighter place. and it was! all the classrooms were painted, windows were installed, the school was ‘deep’ cleaned and much more. and the people we met while helping out were so kind…the principal kept thanking us and was all smiles when he saw the changes. the principal and his wife made dinner for us last night…mind you…we were almost 30 people so it must’ve taken them all day to prepare the food. the painters we hired decided to give us a great price and not even charge for the first classroom they painted. they also ended up helping us clean up when they were done. the window making people were able to make 10 windows within a day….and everybody on the team worked so hard. the first day they ate instant noodles so they could spend more time working. and the kids in the neighborhood were adorable!! the little kids helped us sweep. some helped with cleaning up after we made a huge mess. i asked the two little girls who were sweeping to give me an assignment, and they told me to sweep with them. so cute!

to give you a little background…the school is for migrant children. in the past years, there has been a huge influx of people moving into the city from the countryside to look for better jobs. and because they are from the countryside, many of these workers do not enjoy the same benefits as city folks. if they were to attend a city school, they would have to pay more for tuition. seeing this, great people like the principal mentioned above established schools for these children. the schools are usually very small, very poor and privately operated. the government helps out with funding as much as possible but of course that is limited. thus, the conditions at many of these schools are very poor.

anyhow, there was so much ‘brightness’ in the place. the people we met and the school we were at were amazing. one of the principals we met at another school was a really cute older lady. she had been a teacher for 30 years, retired but decided to get back into the field so that these children would have a school to go to. she doesn’t receive a salary. her school asked if we could help install windows and raise the guardrail on the second floor because it was too low. we didn’t have time to help with the windows but managed to hire somebody to build a guardrail. an adminstrator at another school drove us around all day and didn’t ask for anything in return….not even gas money. i tried so hard to persuade him to accept but he refused. he said by helping the other school, we are helping students and he wants the best for the students so by helping us, he was indirectly helping the students. we are in the process of buying his school some new desks and chairs. right now their desks are in such bad shape, the children don’t even have a flat surface to write on. we went out for dinner one night, and they wanted so much to pay but i was adamant in not allowing them to do so…but they wanted so much to thank us for helping the students out.

the principal mentioned in the first paragraph thanked us over and over again. he kept saying the students will be so happy…he took pictures of everybody so that the students have a visual of who to thank. i was so touched by his dedication. the line between work and personal life is non-existent for them. they live around the corner from the school and hang around the school all day long. he and his wife basically receive no material gain from establishing this school but they are so invested and passionate about what they are doing. when they were not helping out with the painting and such, they were at home preparing a meal for us. they brought us fruits, drinks, snacks. i felt bad because they probably spent a lot of money for things like that. and they are definitely not well-off…. their school had some major roof leakage problems so the principal himself repaired it by heating up a big pot of tar and spreading it over the problem areas. we commented on how hard he works for the school and how amazing he is…and he said that there’s no way around it. there are simply no funds to make the repairs so he has to do everything himself…sometimes students don’t have enough money to pay tuition so he lets them attend for free.

to meet people like the principal is so refreshing. resources are limited because it’s so populated here so people have to work really hard for themselves. to find people who are willing to dedicate their all in improving the lives of others is so rare. but i’ve met so many of these ‘heroes’ within this last week. and to have the opportunity to work with so many people who dedicated hours of hard, manual labor to see the school transformed is such a privilege. it was hard and tiring work but has been one of my greatest experiences here.

ps…i still can’t upload pictures here so i uploaded some on my facebook

tonight we have friends from the us, england, australia and greece visiting.  a large group of them already arrived a few days ago and my roommates are busy with them.  i’ve been waiting for the rest of them to arrive tonight, then tomorrow we will begin some construction work.  this is my first time being with a group on my own, and it makes me a little nervous.  somehow being here for four months has made me into an expert on how things work here…not sure how that works.  though i’ve done a few brave things on my own already. today i checked out a hotel to make sure it’s livable for our guests, and it’s quite nice.  it even has western toilets.  and i was able to find it on my own.  yesterday i called our local friend who’s in charge of this project and asked him a few logistical questions in chinese.  i called a driver (in chinese of course) so we have a car to transport them to the hotel from the airport.  whoosh…now i’m ready for their arrival.  i’m not quite sure where we’re supposed to be tomorrow and what time we’ll begin but hopefully everything works out ok.  i’m hoping to chicken out of some of the construction and catch some of the olympics events on tv…kekekeke…they don’t need me anyway…there’s plenty of them to do the work…=)

there was a horrible horrible thunder/ lightening storm last night, and i was all by my lonesome self.  it sounded like the world was about to fall apart.  and the power decided to go out around 9pm so i couldn’t even watch the olympics…so i tried to go to bed but the thunder was so loud, i couldn’t fall asleep.  i decided as i was twisting and turning that i never want to live alone.

ok…time for dinner [a yummy chicken wrap from kfc =) ]

one world one dream…the official olympics ‘motto.’  i’m watching a pre-olympics show right now.  jackie chan is on and he’s singing…’we are ready…we are ready.’

the opening ceremony begins at 8pm…half an hour to go.

i’m going to wait to post this at 8:08pm on 8/8/08.  =)

let’s see…what can i talk about…i’m sick.  it started with a bad cough yesterday.  now i’m a little feverish, achy, headachey, tired, and i just started having a runny nose.  i’ve been at home for most of the day…only had to run a small errand in the afternoon…but doing that made me feel worse…so i’ve been laying on the couch since then.  i wish my mommy was here so she can make me soup and congee.  =P

next week we have a large group of friends coming from greece, england and the states.  their arrival means busyness for us but when friends come visit, it adds an extra ’spark’ to what we do here.  but i’m going to be glued to the tv watching the olympics before they arrive.

when our friends leave, i plan to head to hong kong for some r & r.  and hoping to see a doctor about my headaches and clean my teeth and eat yummy foods.   then when i come back, school will start again.  =)

it’s about to begin.  all the powerful men in the country are coming out.

countdown time….yay!  it began!

it’s 8:08pm!

our eight american friends left this morning. for the past three weeks we had been seeing them all day, everyday and saying good-bye to them this morning made me a little sad. we had our debrief yesterday and the last question asked was what we learned from this experience. i had a tough time answering that question. it’s been so busy, i’ve hardly had the time to reflect and process our time together. but let me try to compose my thoughts here.

initially we were all worried about what would happen. the plans we had in place fell through, and we weren’t sure what would happen until a day or two before. i was worried about their expectations…what if they go home and don’t have any positive things to share with friends and family at home….what if they don’t like what we planned for them…what if what if. i don’t want us to be the ones ruining their time here and what if it could be so much better if we did something else…if we thought of more ‘meaningful’ things to do. ultimately i realized what they experience is what they experience. no matter how much we try to jam pack their schedules with ‘meaningful’ things, it is He who orchestrates everything. there could always be something more to do. if they have a bad experience, then it’s a bad experience. if they have a great experience, i’m glad we could be a part of it. at the end, many shared about how they experienced Him during this time…and isn’t that the most important?

however, i really struggled with how differently we were treated. let’s call them obvious looking foreigners (olf) and me a not so obvious looking (nsolf) foreigner. olfs are still a novelty in this city. they get stared at when they walk the streets. people like yelling out ‘hello. how are you?’ sometimes local people would just go up to an olf and strike up a conversation to practice their english. sometimes cars even stop for them so they could cross the street. i know this is both a blessing and a curse. i know the attention really gets to them sometimes. but it opens up so many doors. and they are given so much more respect just because of the color of their skin. sometimes they get discounts at restaurants. at the train station, the workers let us cut in line just because they were olfs. i commented on how unfair that was…my olf roomie then said if i was on my own at the train station, all i have to do is show them my passport, and they’ll let me cut in line. but that’s really not the point. local people want to impress them, talk to them and treat them well because they’re olfs. they also signify power, wealth and opportunities.

it’s much easier to strike up conversations in the most random places. they are treated with much more grace oftentimes. just because of the color of my skin, actually hair really, i have become their tour guide/ translator to the local people. people would come up to me to ask about them or ask me to be a middle-person so they could talk to them. just yesterday when we were on the bus, a local lady started talking to me and asking me questions about them. she kept commenting on how beautiful they were and asking me questions about what they were doing here. then i was like, aren’t i beautiful too? and she was like, yes, you all have your unique beauty. then she said i looked 19…so she redeemed herself by saying that because i’m usually not that nice to people who treat me like a middle person. =)

would you rather be the most visible person ever or invisible?

anyhow, on a more lighter note. i went rafting with the group and almost died! i was in a raft with my roomie, and we didn’t think there would be much strong currents….but this country brings many surprises. so two girls from our group were ahead of us and we saw them hit a strong current and flip over. of course we couldn’t do anything to avoid it so we hit the current + a gigantic rock and our entire raft flipped over. the moment i fell in, i looked around for my lifesavers because i told the rest of the group i couldn’t swim and they had to come save me if i fell in, but it was total darkness because we were stuck underneath the raft! we were probably stuck for about 10 seconds but it felt like an eternity…everything was dark and the current was pulling me down. finally the rafting workers flipped the raft over and tried to grab me but couldn’t because the currents were so strong….about 30 seconds of currents pulling me away while worker person grabbing me…he finally grabbed me and pulled me ashore. i was traumatized…not only that, i lost my flip flops… i saw my left flip flop floating before me as i stood up so i grabbed it quickly. but the other one was gone forever. so the rest of the trip was miserable. everytime i saw any strong current, i freaked out. and i felt very unsafe. we only had lifejackets as protection and there were worker people nearby but we were totally alone in some areas. my roomie and i ended up being in separate rafts with a worker maneuvering each one. we felt a lot safer and obviously came out alive though i have a few bruises from the fall. and one really nice worker ended up giving me his shoe… =)

we came home this morning and have no running water. no good. i really wanted to shower, and i’ve been having some tummy problems. boo-hoo….

my good good friend is getting married today…the 26th. we had talked about being each other’s bridesmaids for years upon years. i think it’s tough imagining that i would be part of something for so long and end up not even being able to participate in it. i remember when she first started dating him (gosh, that was junior year of college), when things were rocky and when things were good, the news of their engagement and everything else in between.

i’m excited for their special day and i know she is an incredibly happy and joyful bride today and even though i can’t make it, i’m glad i was part of their relationship from the beginning, and i know i will be in the future. i promised her i would dress up today in celebration of her wedding and give her a toast. so i am putting on my fancy dress tonight and heading out to a nice restaurant to celebrate with them.

our group of friends from the states arrived last thursday so it has been a very busy few days.   they brought me the love packages my family and buddy ol’ pals sent.  so yay!  the lady who brought the goodies was like, you have some people at home who really, really love you.  =)  yay!  i am definitely feelin’ the love.  when i arrived at their place in the morning, she had all my goodies laid out on the dining table and called it my land.  =)  all the stuff probably took up half of her luggage space…=)…i got lots of cute cards, lots of yummy snacks, an ample supply of dr. bronners, yummy smelling soap, a new pair of my most favorite shoes…keens, aquaphor for my dry skin, jewelery from my sister, powdered drinks, anti-bacterial stuff, toiletries and lots more things that totally made my day.  thank you so very much for sending some lovin’ over here.  =)

my grandmother passed away last wednesday.  it was hard being so far away.  i wish i could’ve been at home to see her.  everything i heard about her during her last month was through my family.  i couldn’t see her and get a sense of how she was doing.  my family says she was really sick and was in pain but wanted to wait for her all her children to be there before she went.   when they all arrived, she passed away the next day.  besides continuing life here as normal and regularly thinking of her, i didn’t know what else to do.  i’m doing ok now.  sometimes it doesn’t seem like it really happened.  but i struggle with the idea of where she is right now…i read through passages of life after death…and my heart wants so much to be where i hope for her to be…

keeping busy has definitely helped.   today i learned how to do something really neat, and we applied what we learned immediately.  i was very proud of myself.  brave and bold…brave and bold!  and the people i shared my newly attained skills with were really, really engaged and receptive and wanted more.

on saturday, my roomie, a few friends and i went to the jay chow concert.  yeah baby!  my first concert here.  it was almost like a grand fireworks show + jay chow as the side dish.  but of course jay chow was great.  so hot…not only can he play every single instrument in the world, he can also dance!

next week we have friends from the states visiting.  so that’ll keep us really, really busy.

summer is here.  so it’s been sizzling hot.  and as a spoiled pacific northwest native, all i want to do is hide at home to escape the summer heat, but i can’t.  woe to me.

the other day i dreamed about running around greenlake.  i miss the nice, quiet, serene, beautiful greenlake that was only two blocks away from home, then getting gelatto after a nice walk/ run.  i think about going for a nice run but then i don’t want to because 1) i’ll realize how out-of-shape i am, and 2)  i truly don’t enjoy running but i don’t know why i really want to do it 3) because i can’t find a place like greenlake…nice trail, quiet, clean air, and 2 blocks from home.

school last week was really fun.  we managed to convince our teacher to take us out to eat on monday during class…kekeke…then we convinced another teacher to not give us a final but instead watch a movie…kekeke…and convinced another teacher to have class outside near the school fountain.  and when we were actually in class, we tried to distract the teachers by asking a lot of questions about their life so we wouldn’t have to do the lesson…kekeke…things are so incredibly flexible here.  i like it.

two foreigner friends said i look mexican…mexican?

my sister sent me this link to JK Rowling’s awesome and motivating graduation speech at Harvard: http://harvardmagazine.com/go/jkrowling.htm read it and be motivated to change the world!

i just returned from an exhausting afternoon at the orphanage. a new baby had come in…he had an unusually large head…the other volunteer said that there’s too much liquid in his head and also suspects he may have down’s syndrome. so heart-breaking. the parents most likely couldn’t afford to take care of him so they abandoned him.

so when i first arrived, i walked into a room and expected it to be lively and noisy…instead it was eerie quiet. and some of the kids were definitely showing me some attitude. they refused to share any of the toys. one girl literally stole another little girl’s beaded necklace and the whole box of beads right in front of me and when i tried to get it back from her, she ran away from me. i stood there and used my broken chinese to convince her to return it but she absolutely refused. i didn’t know what to do so i just let her be. then she did it again to a little boy and when the little boy got it back and walked off to a corner to play, the girl went up to him, smacked him in the face and walked off. i was stunned. this girl is older and usually pretty responsible but was really scary today. i didn’t want to be near her. i went up to the boy and asked if he was ok…he didn’t say anything so i tried to get the beads back but the girl ran away from me again. not only that, she tried to get the other little kids to distract me so i would stop bothering her. and they listened to her! so yet again, i was unsuccessful in getting the beads back so i comforted the little boy with other toys. then as i was playing with another little girl, she started to throw her toys all across the room while laughing hysterically. i told her to stop. she didn’t and continued with her laughing and throwing. i was getting fed up and told them that i was leaving for a few minutes and expected all the toys to be picked up when i returned. so 15 minutes later, the toys were all picked up but they started again…this time with the whole tub of toys…throwing each toy far across the room. the kids were unusually difficult today…they weren’t themselves. it felt like something more was going on…there was a heaviness when i walked into that room that i didn’t feel elsewhere…

i was blasted with a strong sense of homesickness yesterday. i was finally working on my newsletter, looking through pictures to share, then started to look through folders upon folders of pictures from home. it brought back memories of dinner parties, social gatherings, meals with family, watching movies at home, playing the piano, singing karaoke, greenlake, and simply just hanging out with people. when we invite people over to our place, they never linger or want to talk and hang out. i like lingering people. that’s when the best conversations come. my roommate asked me the other day what exhausts me…and i said just being out exhausts me…the streets are always crowded, people are loud, they push me around and like to spit all over the place. and i’m tired of people asking me where i’m from, then saying i don’t look american at all, then saying, ’so you’re an ‘abc.’ i really don’t like that term.

anyhow, i am in fact doing well overall…just going through the normal living in a new country-type things. thanks for giving me the space to vent!

the olympic torch is coming this week! and if it’s coming during class time, i think i might just have to skip to go see it. i found out one of my foreigner friends will be carrying the torch!

this weekend we’ll be heading out to the countryside again. i’m really looking forward to that. i hope it won’t be as hard as last time and hope i’ll be at 100% health-wise.

urgent request…please think of my grandmother…her health is deteriorating, and the doctors say she might go anytime soon. she’s currently in a elderly home and somebody’s there watching her 24/7. so please think of her when you have time…she doesn’t know the lrd.